Memory Lane

Well well well, Ol' Fat Horse is trying a new tactic against me. Rather than fight in the here and now against me he would rather go back into my history and try using that against me. While Ol' Fat Horse doesn't have the brain to use Google to find anything on anyone, I recently found out that he had an old ghost from my past whispering in his ear.

See, what pisses me off is right now he is scurrying around my Memory Lane like a little greasy bloated rat, chewing on things that were precious, shitting in places that were once precious.

But, Nicky is only a rat, a cowardly one at that, so even though he is scurrying around my Memory Lane, he isn't going to be able to damage it.

The amusing thing is what he's using against me.

Do I cry in my sleep sometimes? Yeah, I do. There's damn good reasons for it too, reasons I'm not ashamed of, because something Nicky doesn't understand is that a man isn't ashamed of honest emotions. So yeah, he's right with his accusations that I cry in my sleep, and it isn't surprising that a sheltered little manchild like him can't envision something happening in a person's life that would make them do that.

Why does he pick on it, though? Because he knows I'm tougher than he is, and I've succeeded at everything he has failed at. It galls him to know that I made it in the military why he dropped out for crying so much that they just dropped him on a pre-existing condition to get rid of him. He thinks that crying in my sleep means I'm not as tough as he thinks I claim to be.

Too bad, Nicky. Even people who knew back then, in my head stomping days, knew why I cried in my sleep, and never bashed me for it, usually just offered me comfort.

His comments about Linda piss me off the most. He doesn't know what he is talking about, and his greasy sausage fingers typing her name annoys me. He's going to just keep talking and talking about her, and pissing me off more and more.

All in all, Nicky is strolling down my Memory Lane, a squalid greasy hunchbacked troglodyte whose lank and filthy clotted hair hangs over his face, led through the Lane by a little stool pigeon.

But Nicky, your source is using you.

And you're making a bad mistake trying to use my past against me.